I went to Mexico City, again. I stayed at this house which is, actually, from the long-time friend of my mother. At first I just wanted to go somewhere else, I really didn't feel well with the experience of staying here --I won't go into details--, but it doesn't seem that bad, afterall. I knew something like this would occur, anyways. I talked with Paty's (my mother's friend) son, Rodrigo. He is above the thirties. At first I was kind of scared (uncomfortable, or nervous) to talk with him, but it seems he and I have a nice connection. He even called me someone cousin-like to him, in front of a couple of friends that he received somewhere around 4pm. I might be being naïve right now, but I don't see him as someone that treats you nicely at a specific time, but then changes and tells you (or insinuates you) it was just part of the moment and it really meant nothing. He has been drinking, though, so it might be like that, but I want to be positive...
The reason for why I came to this city was because I bought a ticket for a concert. More specifically, a "Dead Can Dance" one --I found out it was a bit too gothic for my tastes, too late, but I can't go back, now--. And, just before we headed out towards the bus central, I, too, discovered Enjambre was going to do a show in the same place (Auditorio Nacional, "National Auditory"), just the day after DCD. I took that chance, even more calm and certain than when I decided to buy (or, more precisely, make my mother buy) the DCD ticket. Enjambre performed recently on the state I currently live on, pretty close to me. I found out too late about it so I took advantage of this new window of opportunity. I think these guys are great representatives of the Indie Rock scenario in Mexico, which, at least to my point of view, is quite capable.
Changing topics:
I do believe I'm getting closer, little by little, to the kind of personal development I strive for, the person I want to become, the reality I want to create for myself. It all seems very distant from this point, but anything's possible, and I really mean it. It is said that Solipsism is a form of extremism derived from Idealism, and I happen to be part of it, which isn't something very easy to deal with, on a daily basis. It's a pretty lonely state of mind, but at the same time, a very interesting one, full of potential. Idealism itself is like that, and that's why I'm so enamored about it.
I want to say this in order to keep it saved from the natural oblivion to which I am a slave: Yesterday. I'll proceed to describe it and try to recall everything important to remember.
It started uncomfortably. I woke up late because the night before could've been a dark one, and in fact it was. I even had a nightmare about the Men in Grey, I sniffed too much where I shouldn't have had done it. I packed late, but luckily with no big pressure, and it seems I didn't forget anything I could have regretted not bringing along with me. Anyways, the morning was super-ordinary and boring. Then we traveled on cab to the bus central. The driver was nice and friendly, not something accordingly to when one deals with these people on another moment; these guys aren't friendly or nice until they give you a service, that's what I'm trying to say. The chat was unconsequential, but that's really commonplace. The part in the bus is, perhaps, the most important of the day.
Apart from the point that I'd like to think so much more intensely, freely and variedly, in comparison to what I can currently and normally be or do, I surely passed through some mental moments. I was happy I brought my iPod Touch with me, --although it doesn't function as it should--. That entertained me, but the landscapes I had the opportunity to behold were impressing and entertaining.
The part I remember the most was the moon, that evening and night: It could as well have been the most beautiful and captivating one I have ever witnessed. I watched it while listening to the album called"The Heart of High Places", by Goldmund. I even shed some tears, but were they of joy? I also recall having witnessed a BMW 3 Series (a car I admire, and obviously, would be very grateful to have). I took some snapshots with the iPod, to the car, to those trees behind that very long wall that were graced by a yellowish, sunset light...
When my mother and I arrived at North Central, we had to wait for Paty. She took us with a Suzuki Swift, her son's car. I like that car very much; it is one of the options I keep in mind for when the day I get my first car arrives --something I look forward to, in such an emotive way--. Seeing the city where I was born in was impressive, interesting, and yet I don't feel part of it, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate all that it can offer, apart from all the garbage and whatnot.
I have been sighting 333's. Even today I happened to listen to part of a phylosophical reportage that mentioned Solipsism, and some other interesting stuff related to Idealism, "coincidentially". I even felt the chills for having had the chance of listening to something that secretly relates to me in an important way; as if something, or someone, cared about my longings for a moment, and it controlled or designed the reality and the world in which I breathe and walk. "Creating realities certainly implies problems of... and moral matter", something like that. It's as if I was shown what was ahead of me, if I continued desiring with decision this idea of being able to create, from a reality-related perspective, and believing that anything is possible. They mentioned the idea of considering reality an illusion, too... that there was a counter-current to Solipsism, in which it is considered that oneself is the only unreal stuff in existence. There were also other styles of thought I'm afraid I can't remember.
I wanted to do more activities while on my stay in this vast city, such as just taking a walk on Polanco, Roma and Condesa (they're like zones), visiting a cafe-library called "El Péndulo", a rendesvouz with a friend or two, going to the movies, etcetera. I feel too limited to do any other thing than what these people decide to do. I would like to be lent a car and have a current license, and just to be able to move to wherever I'd wish to go on my own, or at least to be supported on that matter, not necessarily implying that I'd have to travel by subway or any other kind of disgusting transportation.
/incomplete/
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